WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
