what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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