The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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