I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
