The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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