i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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