If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
