yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
