put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
