we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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