Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My friends, they love my intelligence
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Randomize
