I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
