like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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