Please, let me fuck your mom
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
