I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
