I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
