arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
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