I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
