Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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