Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
