barbara walters just said penis...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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