My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
