I hate your face
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
