One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize