I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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