I just threw up on my dentist
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
