so explain again why im purple
no
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
