Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
