I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think I died a long time ago.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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