He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize