You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
