We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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