Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
