I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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