so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
