I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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