butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
