everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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