You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
