Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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