but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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