That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
