Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
