I'm drive I can fine osifer
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
