Well douche your snatch and let's go!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
