I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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