there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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