Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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