Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize