omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so let's talk penis.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
