so that wasnt chicken after all
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
