I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I want to be your penis for a week.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
