wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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