I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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