We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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