Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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