woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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