Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
