Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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