Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
