I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I will be naked everywhere
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
