She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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