like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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