Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize