Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So much rum. So many feels.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
