Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
