I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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