just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
